What do you think of Afghan wedding/engagement traditions? Do you envy their rules/regulations? Do you think they're old-fashioned? What did you like/dislike?
14 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Haley White Although I envy how in the Afghan culture, one can trace heritage back generations, I don't envy the wedding/engagement traditions. I don't like that an unwed pair can not respectably talk for more than a simple inquiry. Nor do I appreciate that the fathers must approve before they can start dating/engagement/ speaking to one another. Amir and Soraya barely knew each other and yet they were in love at first sight. I also am not very appreciative of the double standard with Soraya's rant:"Thier sons go(ing) out to nightclubs looking fro meat and get(ing) thir girlfriends pregnant, they have kids out of wedlock and no one say a goddamn thing. Oh, they're just men having fun! I make one mistake and suddenly everyone is talking nang and namoos, and I have to have my face rubbed in it for the rest of my life." on page 179. This shows that Soraya is a forward thinking woman stuck in a traditional society.
I agree with Haley completely. I really don't like how women are treated and how the couple must act around each other. I like getting to go on dates and getting to know someone before my father decides that I'm going to marry him. However, I do like that the men ask for the father's blessing for an engagement. I think all men should still do that to this day because it shows respect to the parents and the parents will then respect the suitor. That will give the suitor some credit and the parents of the girl will more likely go along with the engagement if there is respect involved.
Kaitlyn Betz: I think that the Afghan wedding and engagement traditions are very old fashioned, but very interesting. First off, it says they don't marry for love, but instead because of family name and ancestry. To me, as a teenaged American girl, that seems pretty ridiculous. Would you not marry someone just because their great great great grandmother ran off with her American boyfriend and eloped in India? No. However the wedding seemed very entertaining to me. The mirror part seemed kinda dorky (pg 171), "...so we'd be alone to gaze at ech other's reflection," but the Afghan song, and the henna on the palms, and traditional dancing I'm pretty envious about. Americans don't really have any wedding traditions, old folk songs, or traditionl food dishes that tie them together as a country. The Afghans, even if I don't agree with their beliefs, have culture in this chapter.
Kierstynn Combs Even though I think Haley makes a good point about the couple not being able to "respectably talk for more than a simple inquiry," I do like that Soraya and Amir shouldn't be all over each other. How much do you realy know a person before you marry them? jmost of what you learn about your spouse is learned after you are married and have lived with each other for many years. I also think that fathers should approve of who you are to marry. Maybe fathers shouldn't be asking the other father to marry but they should have their say. Family is very important. If your family does not like the new member coming in the relationship between everyone will be strained. I also liked that Soraya and Amir couldn't be totally secluded from everyone else. I think that Afghan wedding traditions are old fashioned but I like the old fashioned style.
You think the mirror part is dorky? I found that to be the most meaningful and touching part of the whole ceremony. After all, a wedding is about two people. So by giving them privacy to look at each other, with no one else included, means a lot.
Afghani tradition had thus far not really allowed them to be alone. At the flea market, Kamila was always there. They had dinner together as a family. Though they were grown people, Soraya and Amir were treated as children and chaperoned. By allowing them their moment of privacy, finally, to gaze into each other's eyes and whisper sweet nothings, seemed really romantic to me.
Elisabeth, I agree with Kierstynn on this because even though the ceremony may have seemed a little old fashioned, it had more meaning and Amir and Soraya didn't know each other that well so having a traditional ceremony like this I thought seemed a little more respectful. I thought the part with the mirror was a very touching moment because Amir and Soraya had never been alone together with privacy and this gave them a moment of that to just look at each other...very romantic.
Tabi I do not envy the Afghan rules/regulations but I like the thought that Amir and Soraya stuck to their traditions. No, they are not old-fashioned, they are honoring their culture. There are some Romanian wedding/engagement traditions that other nations may find weird or too conservative. But imagine if every country had the same traditions. This world would be boring! The Afghan wedding/engagement traditions take part in the colorfilled brushstrokes that makes Afghanistan a unique portrait.
I agree with a little bit of everyone. I think the a wedding is something precious and that you can never know a person fully until you live with them. To live unwed to me is a little on the touchy side, a lot to due with moral beliefs. I feel that talking coudl be allowed, yet not alone. Also a father's approval is very important. My father may not approve of a person I like but I respect his wishes. Family is important, it is like a rock in roaring waters, you need the solid ground. I enjoyed most of the traditions, life was much more simple when traditions were followed. I do indeed envy some of the rules, such as, the time period and the not being able to embrace one another. You learn more about a person through verbal communication not body language.
Kierstynn- I agree that not having the family's approval could potentially strain, if not ruin the marriage from the get-go. Everyone knows the Dr. Phil episodes with the mother-in-law that hates the daughter-in-law, and vice versa. However, I disagree with the lack of talking. I think there are many qualities in people that you learn from basic conversation. As a single woman looking for a spouse, you don't want to marry someone just to realize there is some sort of deal breaker that you learned AFTER the fact.
Hayley- I also found the mirror part very meaningful and interesting as well.
Kaitlyn- I agree with the lack of American traditions and weddings. It was interesting to learn how other cultures viewed weddings and how tradition plays a big role. It's sad how weddings in the United States are based on how big the cake was, how many people showed up, and the dress. Often people forget the beauty of the union of two people.
There is nothing wrong with being a romanticist. All of those things you mentioned, like the blushing and the mirror, make me smile whenever I read them. Although I compared it to a sappy romance, when I read your post about how its torturous for him to go throught the whole week without seeing Soraya, I realized it was much more than just a sappy romance.
When you put it that it sounds less dorky, but as an American who actually gets see their husband and talk to them before their wedding. But in my head when I think about it Amir and Soraya have been chaperoned and not left alone to get to know each other, so the fact that Amir said he loved her under the veil is automatically less romantic to be because they hardly know each other.
14 comments:
Haley White
Although I envy how in the Afghan culture, one can trace heritage back generations, I don't envy the wedding/engagement traditions. I don't like that an unwed pair can not respectably talk for more than a simple inquiry. Nor do I appreciate that the fathers must approve before they can start dating/engagement/ speaking to one another. Amir and Soraya barely knew each other and yet they were in love at first sight. I also am not very appreciative of the double standard with Soraya's rant:"Thier sons go(ing) out to nightclubs looking fro meat and get(ing) thir girlfriends pregnant, they have kids out of wedlock and no one say a goddamn thing. Oh, they're just men having fun! I make one mistake and suddenly everyone is talking nang and namoos, and I have to have my face rubbed in it for the rest of my life." on page 179. This shows that Soraya is a forward thinking woman stuck in a traditional society.
Tiffany Friedlund
I agree with Haley completely. I really don't like how women are treated and how the couple must act around each other. I like getting to go on dates and getting to know someone before my father decides that I'm going to marry him. However, I do like that the men ask for the father's blessing for an engagement. I think all men should still do that to this day because it shows respect to the parents and the parents will then respect the suitor. That will give the suitor some credit and the parents of the girl will more likely go along with the engagement if there is respect involved.
Kaitlyn Betz:
I think that the Afghan wedding and engagement traditions are very old fashioned, but very interesting. First off, it says they don't marry for love, but instead because of family name and ancestry. To me, as a teenaged American girl, that seems pretty ridiculous. Would you not marry someone just because their great great great grandmother ran off with her American boyfriend and eloped in India? No. However the wedding seemed very entertaining to me. The mirror part seemed kinda dorky (pg 171), "...so we'd be alone to gaze at ech other's reflection," but the Afghan song, and the henna on the palms, and traditional dancing I'm pretty envious about. Americans don't really have any wedding traditions, old folk songs, or traditionl food dishes that tie them together as a country. The Afghans, even if I don't agree with their beliefs, have culture in this chapter.
Kierstynn Combs
Even though I think Haley makes a good point about the couple not being able to "respectably talk for more than a simple inquiry," I do like that Soraya and Amir shouldn't be all over each other. How much do you realy know a person before you marry them? jmost of what you learn about your spouse is learned after you are married and have lived with each other for many years. I also think that fathers should approve of who you are to marry. Maybe fathers shouldn't be asking the other father to marry but they should have their say. Family is very important. If your family does not like the new member coming in the relationship between everyone will be strained. I also liked that Soraya and Amir couldn't be totally secluded from everyone else. I think that Afghan wedding traditions are old fashioned but I like the old fashioned style.
How refreshing Kierstynn!
Hayley Windbigler
@Kaitlyn
You think the mirror part is dorky? I found that to be the most meaningful and touching part of the whole ceremony. After all, a wedding is about two people. So by giving them privacy to look at each other, with no one else included, means a lot.
Afghani tradition had thus far not really allowed them to be alone. At the flea market, Kamila was always there. They had dinner together as a family. Though they were grown people, Soraya and Amir were treated as children and chaperoned. By allowing them their moment of privacy, finally, to gaze into each other's eyes and whisper sweet nothings, seemed really romantic to me.
Elisabeth,
I agree with Kierstynn on this because even though the ceremony may have seemed a little old fashioned, it had more meaning and Amir and Soraya didn't know each other that well so having a traditional ceremony like this I thought seemed a little more respectful. I thought the part with the mirror was a very touching moment because Amir and Soraya had never been alone together with privacy and this gave them a moment of that to just look at each other...very romantic.
Tabi
I do not envy the Afghan rules/regulations but I like the thought that Amir and Soraya stuck to their traditions. No, they are not old-fashioned, they are honoring their culture. There are some Romanian wedding/engagement traditions that other nations may find weird or too conservative. But imagine if every country had the same traditions. This world would be boring! The Afghan wedding/engagement traditions take part in the colorfilled brushstrokes that makes Afghanistan a unique portrait.
Hayley - are you a closet romanticist?
LaTausha:
I agree with a little bit of everyone. I think the a wedding is something precious and that you can never know a person fully until you live with them. To live unwed to me is a little on the touchy side, a lot to due with moral beliefs. I feel that talking coudl be allowed, yet not alone. Also a father's approval is very important. My father may not approve of a person I like but I respect his wishes. Family is important, it is like a rock in roaring waters, you need the solid ground. I enjoyed most of the traditions, life was much more simple when traditions were followed. I do indeed envy some of the rules, such as, the time period and the not being able to embrace one another. You learn more about a person through verbal communication not body language.
Hayley
Mrs. Matysak-
Heck yeah I am! I don't even think it's a closeted thing. :)
It's so cute that "a blush, red like henna, bloomed on her cheeks," when Amir told her he loved her.
What's so wrong with being a romanticist anyway?!
Amy
@ Hayley, Kierstynn, & Kaitlyn
Kierstynn- I agree that not having the family's approval could potentially strain, if not ruin the marriage from the get-go. Everyone knows the Dr. Phil episodes with the mother-in-law that hates the daughter-in-law, and vice versa. However, I disagree with the lack of talking. I think there are many qualities in people that you learn from basic conversation. As a single woman looking for a spouse, you don't want to marry someone just to realize there is some sort of deal breaker that you learned AFTER the fact.
Hayley- I also found the mirror part very meaningful and interesting as well.
Kaitlyn- I agree with the lack of American traditions and weddings. It was interesting to learn how other cultures viewed weddings and how tradition plays a big role. It's sad how weddings in the United States are based on how big the cake was, how many people showed up, and the dress. Often people forget the beauty of the union of two people.
Tiffany
To Hayley
There is nothing wrong with being a romanticist. All of those things you mentioned, like the blushing and the mirror, make me smile whenever I read them. Although I compared it to a sappy romance, when I read your post about how its torturous for him to go throught the whole week without seeing Soraya, I realized it was much more than just a sappy romance.
Kaitlyn Betz: To Hayley
When you put it that it sounds less dorky, but as an American who actually gets see their husband and talk to them before their wedding. But in my head when I think about it Amir and Soraya have been chaperoned and not left alone to get to know each other, so the fact that Amir said he loved her under the veil is automatically less romantic to be because they hardly know each other.
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